THE HANDYMAN
Fully-licensed tradesman
Makita equipment only!
Fang us an electric mail
Get me on the blower pronto
About
Any job, big or small, I’m down to get dirty.
I got my white card, working with vulnerable peeps card and my V-card.
If you need something blown, scraped, scratched, knocked, fixed, plugged or soaked - I’m your man.
Also do murders and kidnappies for cashies.
Services
I can READ
I’ll put you on my books quick-smart!
I follow REGULATIONs
Compliance is my middle name. My last name is “man” and my first name is “Handy.” (It’s actually Andy, but it sounds like Handy).
I’ll shake ya hand
Every completed job comes with a complimentary hand-shake.
Client Testimonials
Sami Hedera, Real Human
“He cleaned my pipes and THEN some!”
Declan Shrubb, Failed Filmmaker
“I’m extremely cheap and he was borderline affordable. He successfully procured me a pair of kids knees.”
Greg, Prime Minister
“He helped clear my gambling debts by murdering my bookie and poisoning his extended family. Did not charge GST!”
Let's work together!
Dare ya to contact me. I’ll touch you up something special. Come find me, you know where I’ll be,
My workplace addy
handyman@thehandyman.lca.net